Terserlah Ayu Mu-kategori A

...well...

for da first time... sajer jerk join diz contest...

click here for details

and... the pic i choose is.......

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TADAAA!



Organizer : Butik Tejaz
Closing date 4 diz contest : 15 January 2010
Prizes : TBA

hehe... sajerk gediks.. join jerh...
wish me L.U.C.K !!!

P/s: Nja! jom ah join... wuwuwuuu..

Syawal with En Azmi and Adorable Hafiy

kalau ceki-daut2 kat blog kawan2.. or facebook org len.. semua dah upload gambar raya memasing.. JELESNYAAA... heheee.. ku jgk yg xupload2 lagi...

all our photos during raya byk kt my mother house (@KL)... xsempat nk copy masuk pendrive ku..

but.. i manage to snap few pic of myself jerla hehehe.. using my hphone cam ajerk..
gambar yg gedik2 lain.. later i will share with all readers..

honestly from the bottom of my heart (ceh, mcm lirik lagu lak).. raya tahun ni, mmg best giler-gegilers ah.. why?? bcoz kami semua buat sekian kali nya... dapat spent our 1st day Raya kat kg Perak, teluk intan (belah ibunda ku)... BEST sgt2!!! dpt jumpa sepupu sepapat ku yg di kasihi, dpt gedik2 and borak2... dpt tolong masak2 riuh rendah... best ah... pagi2 beratur que panjang berebut bilik air.. al maklum, bilik mandi ada satu ajerk.. siap2 gosok baju raya... riuh2 nk pilih pakai baju mana sbb nk matching la konon.. pastu kepoh2 nk gi umah saper dlu..pastu, bleh lak ada sesat2 sket... naseb bek ada GPS bro Hardi, yg agak2 membantu jgk laa...

dan...yg paaaaling MENARIK raya tahun ni.... adanya my lilttle sweet prince... Muhammad Hafiy... gi memana rumah pon, semua org mesti nk dukung dia.. pastu cubit2 pipi dia tuh, standard la.. ngeh2... glam kejap...

tapi letih nyer, xusah ckp ah... nk dukung dia lagi... dia nk susu lagi (bg susu badan jerk sepanjg raya)... kejap2 aku kene selak baju, nk nyusukan dia.. pastu, di meragam nk tido lak ker.. pastu ada lak berak kt tgh jalan.. sampai 2 kali benti kt toilet, basuh berak dia.. hahaaa.. hafiy..hafiy..

raya kedua dh blk KL... sampai KL dh mlm... aku and en Azmi dh terlalu letih kepenatan.. hafiy pon tido ajerr (dgn xmandi, dia tido jerk ngan suar jean dia tuh) hehee.. kesian si hafiy... letih beraya sakan..

tema color hari raya kali ni.. orange color.. terang sgt plak warna nya biler tgk blk kt camera.. hehee..

okla.. gambar, karang2 la aku upload... kt fb pon aku xupload lagi... JELES jerk tgk org lain photo album "Raya 2009"... "Adilifitri 2009".... mcm2 ah...

xpuas cuti raya... klo bleh nk raya sebulan... hehe.. okla, my photo kt bwh ni gambar raya ke-dua dah...

Anyway, feel free to visit link below:

http://ladydianashop.blogspot.com/

ada tudung cantek-cantek..busana muslimah cantek-cantek..

Ceki-daut!

KERTIH - KL - PERAK - KL - JOHOR - KERTIH

Ive just finishing packing for hafiy and for me.... and now im feeling bit sleepy.. tomrw morning we start our journey... to KL, then to kg perak, then back to kl, then proceed for b.pahat, lastly bck to kertih... 1 week leave, im sure most of our time abis spend on the road saja.. haha..

so, i wish you all SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI... sorry zahir n batin.. wish me n family hv a safe journey this raya ya!

~XOXO~

LadyDianaShop

Readers,

Please drop by and visit link below:

http://ladydianashop.blogspot.com/

ten-kiu all!

3 months old and hafiy is doing GREAT

now hafiy already 3 months ++ old.. and he's Alhamdulillah.. doing very very fine..

in 3 months old dia dh ada perangai, dh ada kerenah nya, suker tgk.. kkdg gelak n senyum sorg bila teringat kt dia.. ngeh3..

- dh pandai tgk directly in our eyes..

- dh cam muka org..

- dh pandai senyum, gelak2, kuar suara geeee, hiaaaaakk, uhhuuu, brrrrrreee..

- time baring, suker giler angkat kaki tinggi2... setinggi yg boleh.. haha..

- suker sgt hisap jari dia, klo bole sumer jari dia nk masuk dlm mulut...

- suker nk dukung2.. letak jer nangis, dukung jer sengeh2..

- mlm2 dah kurang meragam dh, dpt la mummy dia tidor lena.. just bgn 3 pg, susukan dia, cukup..

- rambut tercacak2 tumbuh, tp kt blakang licin.. haha...

- suker main air liur, habis leleh2 basah baju.. hihihiii

- pandai dh nk tarik2 tudung aku time dukung dia.. adoooaii..

- klo dia tgh berak, mesti dia senyaaap diam jerk, kaki tegang keras... tup2, dh bau semcm, pastu wat muka xbersalah.. hahaha..

mcm2 lagi la gelagat si kecik nih... nanti dh besar sket lain la plak gaya nyer.. hihiii... letih2 jgk ada baby ni.. tp sronok tetap seronok!.. heheee.. mummy caaaayang hafiy sgt2.. u be a good boy ya dear.. xoxo =)

I'm acting Manager??

starting 1st September 09 my boss took unpaid leave for ONE MONTH due to personal matters.. so, there's no other executive lain... gamaknyer... i'm acting as a Manager from 010909 unti 300909... fuhh, letih tuh.... I'm in E1 job grade position.. sitting in position E1/E2 (aku pon xpaham cmne leh ada slash2 lak) covering not only finance job but also ADMIN job (yg leceh giler) also covering PR (Public Relations) job..and now covering for E3 position plak for 1 month.. mana tak letih...

pastu nk tambah kan lagi 'kesengsaraan' aku... coming plak tender yg nk kene settle.. coming plak taxation revision yg nk kene tgk.. coming plak majlis berbuka puasa company, majlis sentuhan kasih ECRO, hamper raya kelab tabung, hadooooooii... BAYANGKAN laaa... mana xletih... bulan pose ni lagi, dgn baby kecik kat umah..

tapi takper... ni dugaan bulan puasa betol laa... nk wat camne... kekadang letih dh buat finance ni... aku mmg tekad nk tukar skill group.. but dr advice rakan2 rapat.. ku tunggu la dlu naik ke E2 position baru lah tukar SKG... skang ni kita 'REDAH' jerla.. mana kene buat, kita buat... nk cari makan, xleh la nk komplen byk sgt.. hehe..

anyway, almost one month im covering MANAGER position.. so far, Alhamdulillah.. with all the hectic work ere n there.. im manage to survive... nothing major 'damage' or any 'malapetaka' yg menimpa.. hehee..

wish me luck supaya cepat2 naik E2 job grade and then nk kuar gi OPU lain la plak... =)

Muhd Hafiy sudah di Kertih

Muhammad Hafiy finally dah sampai kertih... yeaaaaa.... hehee..
Sampai2 jer kertih.. adusss rumah bersepah gilorss.. dh la sampai time maghrib.. risau jgk ngan hafiy nie.. mmg sudah di jangkakan.. mlm tuh, hafiy xdpt tido... start kol 10mlm dia mula meragam, menjerit-jerit menangis.. mata nya melilau tgk atas kiri kanan... aduuuh, aku, daddy dia and maid my mother risau giler... bula roma pon naik tgk dia menangis... me and hubby baca surah Kursi byk kali.. and also playkan surah al-Baqarah kat computer... lama la jgk dia meragam, dr 10mlm until 3.30am... pastu dia dh letih, baru tido... the 2nd and 3rd nite sama jgk camtuh... kami nk bwk gi jumpa ustaz Sauki (my mom's fren) tapi dia takder kt umah.. jumpa ustaz Md Noor... dia bg CD lagu ayat2 quran sbg pendinding dr gangguan.. kami pon playkan di rumah.. alhamdulillah, hafiy dh kurang meragam nyer.. cuma biasala tgh2 mlm dia bgn nangis nk susu.. now dh one week kt sini, dia dh ok sket laa..
but mmg laa, hafiy ni kuat betul menangis... jap2 nangis.. nangis yg xder reason.. unknown.. dh bg minum susu, cek perut xder kembung, xder angin pon.. but still nangis2.. hrmmm.. mungkin sbb masa mummy dia ngandung kan dia, mummy dia byk nangis and byk stress, emotionally breakdown slalu.. huhuu..
harap2.. nanti hafiy dh 3 or 4 bulan dia dh kurang menangis laa.. so, ere some pics kt umah rantau petronas..

10 things about me.... and another 10 things about me

10 things about me...

1. Really really passionate in dance... (penah skali i said to my sis, if i didn't get a job in PETRONAS, i want to persue as a professional dancer at IB @ ASK)
2. Very emotional when it comes to my MAMA.. (she is the only person in this world yg bley influence me soo damn easily)
3. I'm good in accounting and finance but the truth is im so bored with it.. (i wish im in fashion industry or music industry or entertainment industry.. oouhh, i wish) ~sigh~
4. During studies, almost all of my friends are boys.. (skang sudah married, cannot lepak with boys slalu2 laa... nanti ada org jeles)
5. Pernah kurus giler and reach weight at 40kg, and pernah gemuk giler and reach weight at 56kg.
6. Love to give presents yg pinky-pinky color to my sis.. (hrmm.. i olso dono why)
7. Totally in LOVE with my hubby Mr Azmi Ruhani.. (hahaa.. yg nie sure ramai dh tau.. but still nk mention gaks)
8. Love chocolate very much and chocolate cake is the only cake that i know how to bake..
9. I'm not a branded passionate type of person.. (pakai baju raya beli dr pasar mlm pon i dun mind, janji cantek)
10. Suker giler karok (karaoke).. but kat Kertih xder karok.. klo ada pon my hubby xsuker plak..~sigh~

another 10... hehe..

1. Tak pernah duduk asrama waktu sekolah dlu, until la masuk kolej matrik.. (KMNS)
2. Took accounting dari sekolah, sampai ke matrik, sampai ke univ, sampai la keje skang ni haa..
3. Brunei - negara pertama aku pergi ke luar Malaysia.. 2nd Bali, 3rd London + Scotland, 4th hrmm xtau lagi..
4. Masa Form 5, dah teror bwk kereta manual.. until now im still expert drive manual (cewah, eksyen plak)
5. Masa di UUM pernah kene tahan wad satu mlm di hospital Kedah sbb sakit Gastrik...
6. Muhd Hafiy sebenarnya ada abg/kakak, tapi bby tuh gugur dlm perut ms umur 2 bulan..
7. Dlu masa zaman sekolah, im soo ugly, gemuk and hitam.. heheheee, skang dh lawa sket kot =P
8. My best fren in high school (SRP) dlu Fadzwani (itik), Wan Haswani (wani), Syazanil (telemong) and ramai lagi.. kami semua 14 orang waktu tuh.. wahhh
9. Masa sekolah, my nick name was BADUT.. and kkdg org panggil DUT jerk.. hahaa
10. Mula pakai specky on March 2008.. ku rabun silau jerk.. pakai pon on off sajer...

Love your family

Beautifully Imperfect..
I found out this clip from my friend... and it touch my heart.. so i decided to post it here...
Now i realise.. those imperfection sometimes, make our life more perfect...
Enjoy!

My New Mission

Today dah 6th July (still on confinement)... i'll be back on duty on 2nd August... another month to go..
my target before im back to office are:

1-to reduce my weight as much as i can
2-to back in shape, klo boleh nk lebih kurus dr sebelum preggy...
3-nak fully breastfeed Hafiy as long as i cud.. ill try my best, mummy akan gigihkan
4-nak repair muka neh, nak cantik and bersihkan sumer black-spot kt muka neh..

hrmm...tapi masalah dilema yang melanda aku skang neh... camne aku nk kuruskan badan nieh kalau aku full BF??? mak aku ckp... "jgn nk diet2 sgt.. awk tuh menyusu bdn, nanti anak kembung perut"...
hadooiii... dlm dilema btol aku... jeles jerk aku tgk ada org lain tuh, after preggy, kurus giler, tummy flat jerk.. huwaaaa, aku pon nk camtuh gak.. hrmm, susah mmg susah.. kita menyusu bdn, kene consume healthy food utk bby, kene jgk mkn nasik and other heavy food.. bestu, camne nk kurus nyer..
hrmm, aper pon, aku tetap akan cuba jgk... dun give up diana!

all about him now..

our precious son.. we both love u soo much.. u will be a good boy ya hafiy... always listen to mummy n daddy.. and hafiy also loves to play with mummy n daddy..

Muhammad Hafiy... your journey has now begin...

My Son.. Muhammad Hafiy Bin Azmi

On 2nd June 2009, 6.38PM at Prince Court Medical Centre, a cute baby boy was born by Hardiana Haris. He was named Muhammad Hafiy Bin Azmi..

..the experience.. the journey.. the moment that i've gone thru on that 2nd June.. was too priceless, too speechless to describe, sooo....... unforgetable..

that 2nd June... had made me think a lot... thought me a lot.... hrmmmm (my tears dropping..)

everytime i remind back that '2nd June'.......... my heart was so touched.... it make me realised on soo many things..... ooouuhh dear, i don't know where to start.... (emo terlebey plak...hmmm)

on 2nd June 2009, 12.15am... me and my sister was just about to sleep.. mmg baru jer tutup lampu bilik tido and baring di katil... suddenly i felt something just came out from my bottom... i screamed "Ja!! kakyung dah water break la! alamak... byk nie... air keluar byk giler nih... ooouuhh gosh! camne nih".... i start to panicking and screaming... my sis lagi la... dia terus lompat bgn dari katil, switch on the lights and help me up from the bed... she saw my night dress dh lenjun giler, katil basah air melimpah2.... apa lagi, then she screamed plak "mama!!! kakyung nyer air ketuban dh pecah! cepat2!! nk buat camne ni?!! alamakkk...." my mom keluar dr bilik dia dgn muka2 org br bgn tido and muka terperanjat terus soh sumer siap cepat and bring me to hospital... then i grab a clean dress and slowly walk to toilet to change, masa tuh i can hear my sis and my mom plak kepoh mencari pakaian2 dalaman dan luaran mereka utk bersiap ke hospital jgk.. im in the toilet, changing and laughing.. coz it was soo funny to see everyone so panicked and rushing ere there...

ok.. semua dh siap changing clothes, i walk slowly to the car outside, mama dh ready dlm kereta... air ketuban still mencurah2 keluar.. i was a bit wondering laaa, apsal byk giler air ketuban nih... meleleh2 tak henti... in the car also, abis basah lenjun... thank god keta merc papa tuh leather sit... masa nih contraction pain blum ada, i can still smile and laughing lagik.. sampai jerk di PCMC, depan pintu ER... ada few staff came out with bed stroller tuh and ask me to lay down.. ask me who's my doctor and what time the waterbreaks.. the ER staff trus send me to 6th floor, labor room..

1.30am 2nd June, im in the labor room with mama and my sis fiza... mama already called my hubby (who at that time at Taman Negara, Pahang ada team building) and also my father, informed that i've already in the labor room and had waterbreak.. after settle check in kt labor room sumer, 2 nurses came in and want to check my bottom, how many cm dh bukak.. and it seems baru 1.5cm... okay.. so, there's still time.. the nurses called my doctor to informed her n i called my hubby.. just dont want him to rush, drive slowly...

hrmm... after few hours... my contractions pain start to build up... by 5am i guess, my sweet hubby arrived... ouuhh, how glad i am to see his face.... that time contraction pain mmg bley tahan lagi la... chit-chat jap with hubby, then told him to get some sleep...

8am, my doctor, doctor Seri Suniza came in to check me... she said now its only 3cm bukaan.. so, she told me to get rest and relax jer dlu, its still a long journey lagi... ok, im fine with it... but cuma kesian kan my hubby and sis and mama yg lama sgt stay and accompany me... klo ikutkan hati nk jer paksa my sis and mom balik rumah and rest jer kt umah dlu... just let hubby sorg tunggu... lagipon, diorg duk situ lagi buat aku anxious and risaukan diorg... aku bukan risaukan diri aku, but aku risaukan diorg collapse lak nanti kerana keletihan... btol gak sket2 apa doctor ckp, diorg berdiri kulu kilir ada la sket2 menyumbang ke perasaan anxious aku... not that they giving me stress, but they worried me with their health... aku nie mmg jenis yg xsuka menyusahkn org... but, they insist to stay jgk... bdn aku pon dh getting weaker, so aku malas nk tegur2... but i understand, if i were at their place, mybe i also do the same thing.. yela, saper nk blk n realx tdo di umah.. sure xsenang hati nyer tgk 'kakak' or 'anak' tgh sakit kt hospital ait.. hrmmm...

now dah 3pm, my contraction pain was seriously out of words mmg sakit giler2! its almost 9 hours im in contraction pain.. a nurse check me again and said bukaan dah reach 5-6cm.. its a good progress, she said.. but still not enuf and hv to wait lagi.. my body dh weak giler2, ive lost enery a lot.. seriously a lot and my body temprature pon naik, ada demam sket... so, ive decided to take epidural bcoz cannot bear the pain lagi... dpt epi, rasa relief la sket, the pain reduce to 20% la kot..

then by 5pm, i'm sreaming every 10 mins bcoz of the pain! its getting worse and worse.. the epi is no more working lagi... then my doctor came and check me again.. she said it still 6cm or cud be 7cm.. they actly want me to wait until 10cm bcoz my baby is to big.. the doc also didnt feel the baby's head coming down yet.. oouuhh, gosh, how tired i am.... i cudn't wait anymore, every 10mins my contractn pain was at peak.. and my body weakening.. my husband cudnt bear to see me in pain, screaming n crying... he ask the doctr can we just proceed for c-sec bcoz he see me too weak.. after some discsn, the doc agreed to proceed for c-sec and the reason being is poor progress..

i was given epidural from my above waist until my toe for the operation.. then i was pushed into the OT room, my hubby was with me... he stand besides me, holding my hands... at that time, i was really really reaaally tired... all i think was, plsss hurry and just finish this all up... im soooo weak and tired..... by 6.38pm... i can hear the baby voice crying... ooooohh, how glad i am to hear the baby is safe... and after a while i can hear my husband sang azan to him, how wonderful.... before they took the baby to the nursery, they showed the baby to me... at that moment i felt sooo soooo much relief, all the pain had gone away from my mind.. its all worth it.... one drop of tears fall down frm my cheek.. and i kissed my precious baby... then they took him away..

after the doctors and surgrn settle with me at the OT, they brought me back at labor room.. there was my mom, sis and hubby... i cud bearly open my eyes bcos too tired... after few mins, a nurse send my baby to me for bfeeding.. now finally i can hold my own baby on my arms feed him with my breast milk... what a wonderful moment.. altho im still tired after the operation, i brave myself use the strength that i hv left and feed him...

overall..... this total experience had really thought me a lot.. i can see how much my husband really reaaaally cared about me... he'd sacrifice a lot for me.. and i can see how deep is his love to me... the truth is, i was really surprise with Azmi Ruhani yg sekarang... that's y everytime i remember him, my tears are dropping.... he had done a lot... accompanying me 24hrs.. making sure that im okay, and still can put a smile on his face for me.. altho i know how tired he is... during my warded, he took a good care of me and our baby... i can see the excitement in his face when he hold the baby in his arms.. he kisses him, hold him tightly and called his name "hafiy..hafiy..."

tak boleh nk digambarkn perasaan mcm mana melihat hubby bermain dgn bby... and at the same time smiling at me... bersyukur sgt... aku bersyukur sgt punya suami yg begitu penyayang dan sgt memahami... hari terakhir dia di umah ibu ku, sblm bertolak blk ke Kertih.. dia mencium pipi ku... aku pon apa lg.. menitik la air mata... it was soo sad to see him leaving me... and of cos i will be missing him so badly...

Now, im officially a mommy... and now there's no more the two of us.. but.. the three of us.. me and hubby are so happy giler2, super duper excited with the born of Muhammad Hafiy.. mummy and daddy doakan Hafiy akan jadi anak yg soleh dan baik yer... we both love you very much... also Opah and Atok love u upmost... and also acik Nja love u soo much, eternity.. not forget acik Inji and acik Ngah care a lot bout u dear...

Muhammad Hafiy Bin Azmi... ~xoxo~

Happiness is reachable

aku dapat email dr kawan aku... and it touched my heart......

Beautiful Lesson !!!

The girl in the picture is Katie Kirkpatrick, she is 21 . Next to her, her fiancé, Nick, 23. The picture was taken shortly before their wedding ceremony, held on January 11, 2005 in the US . Katie has terminal cancer and spend hours a day receiving medication.In the picture, Nick is waiting for her on one of the many sessions of chemo to end.

In spite of all the pain, organ failures, and morphine shots, Katie is going along with her wedding and took care of every detail. The dress had to be adjusted a few times due to her constant weight loss.

An unusual accessory at the party was the oxygen tube that Katie used throughout the ceremony and reception as well.The other couple in the picture are Nick's parents. Excited to see their son marrying his high school sweetheart.

Katie, in her wheelchair with the oxygen tube , listening to a song from her husband and friends.

At the reception, Katie had to take a few rests. The pain did not allow her to stand for long periods

Katie died five days after her wedding day.

Watching a woman so ill and weak getting married and with a smile on her face makes us think.....

Happiness is reachable, no matter how long it lasts . We should stop making our lives complicated. Life is short. Break the rules, forgive quickly, love truly, laugh constantly..

And never stop smiling no matter how strange life is. Life is not always the party we expected to be.. but as long as we are here, we should smile and be grateful.

rindu nyer kt si Comel

anyway... life must goes on... i know i must be strong.. for the sake of my dearest baby nie... mama so so sorry to put you thru this... these few days, after tired of crying and crying.... aku dh smpai xlarat nk nangis lg rasa... but atleast i feel a bit relief sket dh laa... bykkn pray and selawat jerla byk2.... ada sikit tenang sudaa..

anyway, aku tetiba pg nie rindu giler kt kucing kami yg dh lama pergi... (sob..sob..sob.. sedih lg..)

nama kucing kami dlu "Comel"... kekadang mama panggil dia "Meme"... tp dia dh xder dh... nk adopt kucing br tp rasa berat hati lg... still rindu kn si comel and xleh nk cr kucing lain to replace her... but mybe

why???

semlm pagi... tetiba dpt email dr KL office, i hv to attend ACD assessment at KLCC on friday morning... alamak! camne ni?? ari khami petang i hv meeting until 4.30pm.. and plus, i got a lots and lotssss giler lots of things to do, xdapat nk listkan... blum campur tolak lg dgn my condition yg sarat dh nie... sakit pinggang, sakit blakang, sakit kaki bengkak.... oouuhh, stress nyer... last minute bgtau ada assessment, mana bleh, study pon xsempat lg nih....
aku pon try call the person in-charge request to postpone the assessment date... unfortunately, she decline it and said that she can't do anything la bla..bla..bla... ooouuhh, tambah stress lg aku... wats on my mind that time is, camne aku nk travel neh?? by flight? xboleh dh 7 months preggy... by car? im driving alone and at night? ishh, penat tuh, too risky... then biler plak nk study nyer nih??? keje2 kt opis nie byk lg outstanding, sumer dateline nk cepat... arrrghh pening2.... then tanya my hubby wat shud i do... he said, kiter discuss mlm nyer... ok fine... at the same time i send email lagi kt KL office, begging her to reschedule my assessment to other date or just put my name under KIV dlu... bg jgk reason2 yg sgt munasabah kt diorg y i can't attend the assessment... hope that they will understnd my condition...
mlm tuh.... me and hubby gi dinner kt luar... i order fresh oren (kegemaran ku)... and also nasi paprik (agak lapar pulak rasa)... my hubby pon order yg sama tp dia air watermelon juice.... after order, he said to me
Hubby: dh try mintk tukar date assessment?
Me: dah... but dia jwb its beyond her control, dia cuma ikut direction from accessor jerk...
Hubby: takkan xleh nego kot... takkan diorg xleh nk paham? ur condition mcm nie lg... susah la nk travel, dh la last minute bgtau.. abg nyer dlu, dua bulan sblm assessment diorg dh notify.. byk masa nk study sumer..
Me: i know.. but wat can i do... i call dia pon dia jwb camtu, she cant do anything... i email diorg... xreply2 cam dh xnak layan dh.... plus, i hv a lot other things to do lg kt opis.... skng mmg dh takder choice... i think i hv to go KL jgk... so, i need u to drive for me la.. klo tak, takkn u nk biar i drive ke kl alone plak kan...
Hubby: ishhh.. susah la camni... i bukan aper... khamis ptg tuh nk gi main golf lg... hari sabtu plak ada family day kt club... kene pegi tuh, i dh register nama utk main paintball....
Me: then u hv to sacrifice la all that... takkan u nk gi main all those games2 tuh and let me drive alone ke KL... i dh sarat ni if u can see...
Hubby: eehhhh, mana bleh... i dh janji dgn dak2 ni sumer nk main sama... (bla...bla..bla..........)
Me: fine..fine..fine... xyah la camtu... xyah2... fine la... i pegi by myself jer.. i drive sorng ke kl... susah la camni, org mintk tlg byk sgt merungut nyer... by hook or by crook i kene gak ke kl... diorg cam xleh nk nego utk reschedule date tuh, i got no choice... im hoping u to understd me... im here stress tau.. mana nk pikir keje lg, nk study for assessmt lg, dgn sakit bdn sana sini lg, dgn sarat nyer lg... and here, u r only worried about ur golf and ur paintball game??? xperla2... fine... i go by myself jer... susah2 sgt kan...
Hubby: okla... haa... okla tu... u go by yourself..
(after few minutes.. i stop talking... and then............ my tears drop... one by one......)
i just can't hold it.... its too hurts.... my tears are dropping... and im trying to hide from him... also from other people around us.... terlalu sakit dan pedih sgt rasa.... mcm xpercaya je on what ive just heard he said to me.... how could he treated me like this.... sampai hati dia nk biarkn aku drive sorng... mcm tiada kerisauan langsung pada keadaan aku yg dh sarat nie... seolah2 aku nie membebankn dia pulak.... mcm xboleh cancel jer golf and paintball game dia tuh.... air mata aku trus2 mengalir di pipi.... ako pon try utk tenangkn hati... tarik nafas panjg.... cuba utk control emosi.... aku pon kesatkn air mata ku sorok2, takut dia dan org2 lain nmpak...
tak lama tuh, makanan dah minuman kami sampai... aku mkn xhabis pon, byk yg xhabis... air fresh oren yg jadi favorite aku tuh pon xabis... rasa cam xlalu nk makan.... serius, hilang selera....
selesai dinner, kami blk ke rumah.... aku xbckp aper pon sejak dr restoran td sampai la aku masuk blk tido.... cuba utk lelapkn mata..... sblm tido.... air mata aku mengalir lg.... terlalu sedih... sbb diriku mcm xberharga pada nya.... mcm satu beban utk nya.... basah pipiku, air mata jatuh xhenti2.... sehinggalah aku terlelap sendirinya....
esok pg, subuh seperti biasa... bersiap utk ke ofis.... kami xberckp... masing2 membisu... xder mood utk berckp dgn dia... rasa cam sedih sgt.... kecewa sgt.....

syg aku pada nyer... st2 tak terkira... sayaaaaaang sgt.... terlalu syg.... tp apa yg aku mintk adalah cuma dihargai... di sayangi.... itu ajer... pleaseeee............
atleast put some sympathy on me... or atleast on this baby..... i thought by having this baby, ull be much much more caring and much2 more appreciate to me..... but ur not.... im trying not to complaining.. trying to think really positive... but at this point... its too much already... it hurts... sakit sgt dada ni rasa.....
tak tau nk mengadu kt siapa... adik beradik pon skang ada masalah mereka sendiri... papa pulak baru kehilangan org tersayang (my grandmother just passed away)... mama pulak sure tgh focus to calm down and accompany papa for the lost...
i just wish that i hv someone's shoulder to cry on... someone to shared love.... someone to make things happy around us.....

(my tears are dropping......)

heart broken

He... preferred to play Golf then accompany me to KL..
He... choose not to missed his Golf, then accompany me driving to KL..
He... don't even support me whem i'm stressed and down because he has his Golf game and Paintball game to think of...
He... don't have any sympathy on me.. even when im droping my tears thru my cheek in front of him..
He... don't even care to go back to my father's homwtown to visit my grandmother passed away..
He... is the one that i choose to be with for the rest of my life...

my tears are dropping while i'm typing this...
im in pain... my heart hurts... my back hurts.. my leg hurts... my baby wont stop kicking...

so tense.. so stressed..

My Fren'S Engagement

Last week i went to my dear fren's engagement.. at Seremban 2.. we've been friends since Matriculation at K.Pilah... then continue in the same univ (UUM)... well, finally now she's engage.. so, i came to her engagement day with a maternity dress on me... wah! mcm xsangka ku pakai jgk dress itu... i look small in that dress.. but, wat the hack, janji maintain cute rite.. hahak! but anyway, after long lost longtime no see, finally the three of us, get to-gather and reunite meet again.. me, arin n erila... erila pon skg sudah 2 anak maa sepsng lagi... me-preggy 6 months.. arin engaged... hrmm... time goes by so fast.. one day we in university, busy studying, preparing assignment, sit exams... and then continue too busy finding the perfect job, perfect salary, perfect husband (hahahaaak!)... then finally, we all settle down... with our own career path, our dearly beloved husband (klo erin dearly beloved fiance la kot), our own kids later on...

hrmmm (sigh)... klo flash back again.... i do really really really missed the memories in univ dlu... so much memory, so much unforgetable moments, so much joy n fun.... but as u think again... life must goes on.... not that we shud just 4get the past... keep it as our treasure..our most precious memories which i will ensure u, it will remains 4ever in my mind (i wont 4get it)... evry single detail of it.... but anyway... life must move on... enjoy the moments now, rite now, rite on this seconds.. make it a beautiful moments as possible.... happy memories.. enjoy every seconds of it...

thats what i thought now...what im trying to do now... is just enjoy these moments... this minutes... being pregnant... how wonderful is that... im enjoying it, evry time i feel the baby's kicking... then moves around in my tummy... im enjoying to dress up in a maternity dress, trying to look cute in maternity shirt... hahahakk!!

hrmmm (sigh).... mcm2 laa aku ni.... dh melalut byk plak kt sini... sure org bc pon boring jerk...

well anywy, i wanna share with u all my latest photo of being preggy in 6 months... tembam n boncit i tell u... hihihikk... so cekidaut there!

hope that our friendships will never ends...

6 months... 3 to go

Now i'm 6 months pregnant... fuhhh, 3 months to go.... pejam celik pejam celik.. kejap jer dh 6 bulan kan...
totally a new experience for me... now the baby has starts to kick my belly... takleh duk diam... asyik kicking ajer... huhuhu... sometimes aku gelak sorng2... geli gak rasa biler dia pusing2 and gerak badan dia... and sometimes jgk tgh duk diam tuh, suddenly tetiba DUSHHH! dia kicking perut aku, like WACHAAAA!.... hahahaaa... kita tgh concentrate keje tetiba kene kick, terkezut babe... hahaha!!!
later i'll post my new photos... yg tgh Boncit nie... hehee... my husband klo tgk aku, sure dia tenung lama.. pastu dia ckp "eeee.... boncit...eee.. boncit.." then dia kata... "u ni dh la boncit, kecik plak tuh, pastu jalan kedit kedit kedit..." heheheee...
yurp.. sometimes rasa gemuk nyer aku... giler gemuk, tembam, boncit, mcm penguin daaa... heheee... tp xper, janji maintain cute...katanya, heheeee...
pastu skang asyik nk mkn jerk... coklat, roti, cakes, donut, biscuit and semua nyer nk rasa.... aarrghh, kene control nih... klo tak, overweight nanti....
okla, next entry ill post my latest pics.... hehee...
lama sudah xupdate blog.. bukan apa, lately nie xder benda yg menarik nk di share, sumer citer sedih jer.. so xder mood nk post entry... i prefer to share something yg happy2 best2.. kan kan kan....
orite... wait for my next post yer... daaaa!